No Shame in Pain

I am currently reading anything I can get my hands on by Brene Brown.  I feel her work is a portal for healing. For some, tying shame and vulnerability to chiropractic care might be a stretch, but I find that asking for help is one of the most vulnerable acts we can perform.  It is not uncommon when someone comes into the clinic, they are searching for the reason why the pain happened, wanting answers and placing blame on himself/herself for getting hurt. They ask: Why do I have this pain?  What is the quickest road to recovery?  Personally, I think pain is here to teach us.  With most things I have experienced in life, when I’m down, not only is it going to take a little time and work to get back up, it often requires help from someone other than myself.  

There is no shame or blame in having back pain or sickness.  It is the most common reason people seek medical treatment. 3 of the top 10 reasons people visit a doctor are pain related (joint pain, back pain and migraines), all things that chiropractic care help combat and prevent.  

One interesting thing Brene mentions is how differently women and men organize shame differently.  For women, it is summed up by “Do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.”  It is a web of unattainable, conflicting/competing expectations.  For men, it is “Do not be perceived as weak.”  No wonder I hear almost daily from my female patients, “I have been trying to get my husband in here.”  We have created  a culture where it is not safe for the man to ask for help, because he will be perceived as weak.  I hope this TedTalk sheds some light into your life the way it has mine...

I will leave you with the Theodore Roosevelt's quote:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Thank you for joining me in the arena.

-Dr Allison Kennemar